Me First

I was a thumb sucker. I put myself to sleep for afternoon naps. The habit stuck.

Kindergarten was stressful. I was the youngest in the class. I sucked my thumb at nap time in school. In third grade when I was in the slow reading group and everyone else had moved onto chapter books it paid to have a way to de-stress. After a hard day at school, I’d come home, suck my thumb, and feel much better. Algebra in sixth grade had me sucking my thumb every evening when I muscled through my homework.

In fact, I was a thumb sucker until the orthodontist sat me down and said, “You can’t be pulling your teeth one way when I’m trying to push them back the other way. You are going to have to stop sucking your thumb before I put the braces on your teeth.” At fourteen I was way passed the age when I should have stopped sucking my thumb. It was my “dirty little secret” none of my friends knew this about me. Even telling you now feels a little shameful.  

Turns out I had learned a valuable tool. I knew how to self soothe.

I did quit cold turkey when the orthodontist insisted. (And bless his heart he was even proud of me when I announced to him three months later that I was over it.) It sounds funny but thumb sucking made me very good at spotting when I need self-care. As an adult I have always been good at knowing what I need to get back on track when life hands me hard things. I walk in the woods. I feel no guilt over getting a massage to ease my body. I remember to call a friend to share my load when heartaches hit. I meditate. I do yoga. I find quiet and stay there for a bit. I look for joy, any joy; from a perfect cup of tea to a text from my son.

My “little secret” now is that I take care of me first.

I care for a lot of people. I encourage and love and laugh. I also make sure I have the resources within to make that happen. The well will run dry if I don’t fill up first. That’s what all this self-care is about; taking the time to slow down enough to center and fill again with love.

Why does this matter? I believe you can’t offer your best self to the world unless you come from a place of love. Learning how to take a break and recharge is a gift. Following through and taking a break from your busy days will let you refresh and be able to offer your best.

November is the month when we celebrate Thanksgiving, full hearts, and gratitude. This month make a promise to take care of you. Find those little practices that will serve you well. Caring for yourself will give you more ways to share your love. Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.