A Big Act of Kindness

How far would you go to show up for someone having a hard day? Would you send them a text? Would you give them a call? Would you drive across town to invite them out for coffee?

What if this someone was a person you only knew from Facebook? You’d shared posts with each other for years but never met in 3D? How far would you go then?

Okay, now suppose the person you are trying to reach out too is in town for her mom’s funeral. Would you reach out then? A card would be enough don’t you think? But what if…what if you felt the tug to do something more? Would you follow your gut and get in your car?

I’ve been Facebook friends with Tim for about 12 or 15 years. He posts a wide variety of things that make me chuckle. He posts good book recommendations. He shows us his latest sewing machines acquisitions. (He owns 70 machines!) And he tempts me with posts of the burgers and pies he eats in Minnesota. The devil. A few years back Tim’s mom went into assisted living. It was not an easy transition. He asked his Facebook friends if they’d send her a card or two. Well that was all the encouragement I needed. You know I love to send mail. I wrote to her for a good long time.

But four years ago Tim’s mom passed. I sent a few cards to him and his sister. And our Facebook friendship continued.

I didn’t tell Facebook this year when my mom got ill. I didn’t tell Facebook when mom passed. I didn’t post about our plans to travel to Wisconsin to bury mom next to dad. I just didn’t know how to share that news in such a public way. However, I did tell my newsletter readers. I knew how to share my lovely mom with them. My Facebook friend Tim is a newsletter subscriber.

Tim is also a detective. When I went “dark” so to speak on Facebook he wondered. He put two and two together and knew I’d be coming to Wisconsin to bury mom. He googled my name and obituaries in Wisconsin and found out when and where the service for mom was going to be.

One more detail about Tim you should know. He’s a big man. He’s big like Santa. He has the beard and yes, the belly (sorry Tim).

I was in the sanctuary of Bethel Lutheran Church hanging out waiting for relatives to arrive when down the aisle comes Santa Claus in street clothes! That was my honest to goodness first thought! BLINK BLINK. Nope, that’s TIM, from Facebook, here in 3D!

I ran up and gave that man a big hug. Big men give great hugs. At least this little woman thinks so. I was shocked to see him. How? Why? When? WHAT! It was a shock to know that he had made the 45 minute drive to take a chance on surprising me before mom’s service.

We laughed while I caught my breath. We smiled. I introduced my husband and son, my sister and brother. It was surreal. This is Tim. Tim from Facebook. I could not get over it. You came all this way just to say Hi? He fessed up that he did sit in the parking lot for a hot minute trying to work up the courage to come inside. Is this too stalker-y? Am I weird. Yes and yes, but Lisa will get it.

I am humbled to know Tim came just to be a distraction and offer my day a shock of kindness. I was able to read the whole eulogy for my mom with a dry eye. I had family around me but I also had friends who love me too. Life was good that day, even if mom wasn’t there.

Merely saying Thank you was just not enough acknowledgement for this act of kindness. So I wanted to tell all of you about my dear friend, Tim, who literally went the extra mile to make my day. And that day was my mom’s funeral. The sacrifice of time blew me away. But as I said, Tim’s a big guy and he had a big idea and followed through.

WOW! Tim, I will never forget this. I’m so glad you were brave and followed your heart.