Finding Joy in the Minority

What a Saturday! A full day of fun, and noticing. Fun activities and noticing things in my spirit. Here’s what happened.

I was invited to my friend Jen Grafton’s book launch for her latest project, I Don’t Like Patience. It is the third book in a series of nine books about the fruits of the Spirit. The event was held at Three Crosses church. The East Bay is outside my comfort zone of regular travel but I put on my big girl driving gloves and off I went. It was a fun afternoon. Jen is a natural with kidlets. It was fun to listen to her read her newest book and then watch the kiddos race around and color. I also was happy to see Jen signing and selling a lot of books. Hooray! I got a chance to congratulate her and chat for a minute.

Then I put my next stop into google maps. I was off to House of Chicken and Waffles in Oakland. It looked delicious and was very near the evening concert venue. Happily I found easy parking. The hard part of deciding on my meal! I took my time deciding and ordered the Kelly: a fried thigh with waffle and grits. I savored the maple syrup that had a smokey flavor to it. Yum. And I never met a piece of chicken I didn’t love.

I moved my car to the next easy parking spot, a lot right by the Odell Theater. I followed the crowd going in. We were all attending Every Voice Matters a presentation by the Oakland Gay Men’s Chorus. My friend Jonathan and his husband Paul had invited me to attend. Truth be told they’d been inviting me to their concerts many times and this was the first time I could attend. The songs sung were a collection that brought tears and joy. The choir sang their core values and shared their pride and love. It was a moving experience. I was so glad I finally got to hear their passion.

Lots of joy in my day. And delicious treats: tiny cupcakes and cherry lemonade. But maybe the best part came afterward when I was contemplating my day. I had been in the minority all day long. I was a mother with no toddler for the book signing at a mega church I do not attend. I only knew Jen and her mom. I was the only white person in the full restaurant enjoying a meal of food I usually don’t have. I was one of only a few straight people in an audience of queer folk at the concert.

Noticing I was in the minority was amusing to me when I was at the book event. It was kinda nice not to have to chase a toddler. And it was fun to watch others having a good time in a place where I knew no one. Noticing was interesting when I was eating dinner. The thought crossed my mind, Is this what “the other” feels like? I thought not really, but it was a hint. I don’t have to think of being the odd person out. I usually am in the majority, being different doesn’t even enter my thinking or safety concerns most of the time.

Then at the concert I was greeted by my friends and immediately surrounded by smiling faces. I loved having a seat close to the front to see all the singers’ faces. The whole concert blew me away, the depth of feeling in the songs as well as the joy on the choir’s faces; it was jubilant. It was at the end of the evening I realized how much love I felt in the room.

Noticing is a good thing. It will help me to see when other folks in my world are on the fringes. And I hope it will move me to be more inclusive and offer love when and where I can. I certainly hope this is true. I think a day like this reminds me that expansive experiences are filled with love and joy not fear and suspicion.